Guidance for Parents and Carers

This information is valid from the 1st December 2021. It is periodically reviewed for accuracy. Changes will be highlighted at the top of the document.

For counselling to be as effective and safe as possible, as a parent or carer, your commitment, motivation and consent is encouraged and needed. Entrusting your child or young person to a counsellor may feel difficult. There can be so many unknowns and unanswered questions but hopefully the information provided here will be useful in helping reassure you of the service being offered and the counselling process.

Model of approach

The counsellors at counselling@unit12 all offer a variety of counselling approaches, details of which can be found on the website, www.cau12.com. Among other therapeutic approaches, these include psychodynamic counselling, Person Centred Therapy, cognitive behaviour therapy, solution focused motivational and psychoeducational techniques. All of these forms of therapy are applied creatively, ensuring that the child or young person taking part in the counselling process is offered the opportunity to talk though whatever is going on for them in a private and safe setting, in a format that is beneficial to them.

As a parent or carer this may feel difficult, however our counsellors are professionally mindful of encouraging children and young people to build positive relationships with the significant individuals around them and will therefore always work towards empowering and building the life skills necessary for the child or young person to develop more open communication within their family.

Working with children and young people

Our counsellors will tailor their approach to working with children and young people to the individual and work in an ethical and age-appropriate way. They will use creative intervention in a relaxed and calm environment.

As a child grows into adolescence, he or she experiences a huge amount of change and young people are often in a very different mental space than adults, due to the physiological and cultural specifics of the individual. There are psychological changes, such as changes in attachment to the care giver and cognitive growth which impact on adolescents emotionally. This can be very distressing, so for a young person, it can be beneficial to explore feelings and thoughts with an adult who is not their parent or carer, in a private, safe space.

Working creatively

We are born with the ability to imagine, dream, create and play and our counsellors are happy and able to use a variety of creative mediums with their counselling work. Whether it be art based, images, toys or sand work, there is a beneficial and meaningful connection between creativity and therapy.

Using a creative medium allows the child or young person to share, express and think through a process of self-exploration, which may uncover feelings, thoughts and experiences once forgotten. Wherever our minds wander, our thoughts and feelings are important no matter how insignificant they may feel. Exploring them together helps develop a greater sense of ourselves and our experiences. However, we do recognise that creativity is not for everyone and our counsellors will be sensitive to the individual’s needs. For a child or young person, it can be just as powerful to gently and mindfully talk through their unique experiences. Sessions will take whatever form your child or young person requires.

Parent or Carer Meetings

Depending on the child or young person’s, age, developmental stage and ‘capacity to consent’ (see below) to counselling, you may decide you would like to have regular meetings throughout the course of your child's therapy.

After consulting with the relevant counsellor’s supervisor in relation to ‘best interest’, and only with the young person’s consent, these meetings can be scheduled for 1 hour and cost the same as the agreed session fee.

The initial meeting offers the parents or carers the opportunity to talk about what has been happening, exploring the child's experiences and the parent's experiences from the parent/carers perspective. Our counsellors will endeavour to offer ideas about things you can do alongside the therapy which may help in a supportive manner. Later, any agreed parent meetings will offer the opportunity for review and feedback on progress and sharing of any concerns or any developments from home.

Endeavouring to protect the child or young person’s confidentiality, the counsellor will be transparent with the child or young person about any contact they have with the parent/carer after the counselling has started. This helps to establish trust in the therapeutic relationship and is in accordance with the Ethical Framework for the Counselling Professions.

Important Note

Due to the law surrounding confidentiality, children and young people have to agree the content of any information shared from sessions. However, as long as the content is agreed these sessions can be invaluable in helping families to communicate and work together.

The Counselling Process

A counsellor is someone who listens carefully and curiously to your child’s experience; they will not cast judgement, tell your child what to do or give them the answers to their questions, but they will endeavour to empower, guide and invite them to make their own decisions within safe and ethical boundaries.

Our counsellors will encourage and support your child or young person to find a positive way forward. They will help your child or young person identify a ‘therapeutic aim’ to work towards, which will help give focus to their counselling sessions. Of course, there are no guarantees with counselling, however the most important start is that your child or young person is happy to attend counselling.

Important Note

Children and young people may have very different aims than those of their parents or carers. Listening and adhering to their own wishes is the beginning of inviting them to develop appropriate autonomy. This is particularly important if, as in some cases, aspects of life have felt out of their control for whatever reason. In gaining awareness and understanding, your child or young person may decide to invite change into their life. Counselling therefore has the potential to be a journey of discovery, their journey.

Capacity to Consent

The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) states that careful thought needs to be given when working with children and young people as to their capacity to give informed consent to a confidential relationship.

This is sometimes referred to as ‘Gillick Competency’ and detailed information can be found here; https://learning.nspcc.org.uk/child-protection-system/gillick-competence-fraser-guidelines#heading-top

During the first session the counsellor will assess whether the child or young person wishes to attend and will give them the choice as to whether they want to return or not. It is important that the child or young person wishes to speak to a counsellor and is agreeing to attend counselling voluntarily.

This can feel frustrating for a parent or carer, but this process places the responsibility in the hands of the child or young person and marks the beginning of them taking control of their experience. It is fundamentally important to the therapeutic relationship that they realise they have choices and the right to make them.

How long does the process take?

Sometimes children and young people attend counselling for only a few sessions, some may choose to attend for much longer.

The counsellor will be led by your child or young person in terms of how long they attend. However, it is important to talk this through carefully together, as it is usual to have ‘an ending’ which is an arranged conclusion to therapy whether after only a couple of sessions or a longer period of time.

There is theoretically no limit to the number of sessions they can attend, although our counsellors are bound by ethical requirements not to continue with therapy for longer than required. They will do regular reviews - roughly every 6 sessions - to check progress and to make sure that your child or young person are still benefiting from counselling.

Generally, ‘an ending’ usually occurs naturally and is mutually discussed as the aims are hopefully gradually achieved. Your child or young person’s counsellor may use a specific ‘outcome measure’ (YP Core), which they will explain during the first appointment. This is a measurement of how your child or young person is feeling week to week and forms a part of the decision as to whether to bring sessions to an end.

In protecting the child or young person’s confidentiality, the counsellor will gain permission to share ‘enough’ to help decisions about continuation or termination of therapy to be made. Hopefully, as a parent or carer, you will be aware of improvements and may notice a gradual change over time which will also inform your decision.

Contact, Boundaries and Confidentiality

When you meet with your child or young person’s counsellor for the first time, they will run through a counselling contract with you and your child or young person together. This will explain the professional boundaries which surround counselling and it will help you to understand what you can expect and for your child or young person to begin to build trust in the counsellor.

For instance, they will talk with you about practical issues such as punctuality, cost and length of each session, as well as asking for information about previous counselling or any specific mental health treatment or diagnosis which may be relevant.

Any information you are asked to disclose will be held with the deepest respect and within the usual boundaries of confidentiality.

Depending on the age of your child or young person, it may be useful to book a parent meeting so you can fully discuss what has led to your decision to seek counselling in this instance. The counsellor will also talk with you both together - you and your child or young person - about confidentiality and how whatever is disclosed in each session will remain confidential unless there are concerns that your child or young person may be at significant risk of harm, or someone they know may be at risk of harm.

Your counsellor will explore confidentiality in more depth with you when you meet so you are clear about the established and lawful limits of confidentiality. We are aware of how important this aspect is and how central this is to the development of a trusting relationship.

Important Note

Your child or young person has a right to confidentiality which will mean you won’t know what has been said during a session unless a significant risk has been identified.

Your child or young person will be invited to realise they can speak to whoever they want to about their sessions; the counselling work/relationship is not a ‘secret’ but it is their choice to do this or not.

Our counsellors will always aim to encourage children and young people to build positive communication with their families but, it is most effective when they make the choice for themselves. Sometimes, the counsellor may identify the need for a piece of information to be shared which may not be surrounding a significant risk, but it could make a difference to the child or young person if their parent or carer knew. In this instance the counsellor will first empower your child or young person to voice this for themselves. If they do not feel able to do this then the counsellor will seek permission from the child or young person to share the information appropriately instead.

Please read alongside Privacy Notice for more detailed information around confidentiality, safeguarding and data protection.